when things had being easier
by neurotic on crack
Summary: he never lost hope of reuniting with the gang, maybe if they stayed away long enough, they would have a chance to fix the broken and ignite the lost between them.


He sat down on the couch next to the fire place, holding a glass of scotch in his right hand, appreciating the flames, the room was dark; the walls were paint tawny red, it reminded him of his old bedroom in Italy, he was gulping his drink hurriedly with such care, making sure every single drop of alcohol burned his throat and kept him of remembering the awful state his life had become.

He wished his life would've ended with his mother when she died shortly after giving birth to him, he didn't remember her well, but he had a picture of her, a drawing actually, she had beautiful features, blue eyes just like Damon's, her silk hair was long, nearly touching her lower back, wearing a lavish silk gown, he wished he met her, his father never blamed him openly for her death, but he saw the way he looked at him after the many anniversaries of her death, it was as almost as he wished that he was never born, when he grew older, his father's grief faded gradually, and that gave them the opportunity to bond over the years, he became his favorite, but he still envied Damon, he had the opportunity to sit in their mother's lap, experiencing the comfort and the care she provided, he felt robbed of that feeling.

He caught him self wiping his tears that was overwhelming him, he felt utterly alone, all the people he fought for over the years, left him, and chose other people instead, Damon chose to pursuit a chance of happiness with Elena, even when she clearly stated that she needed time away from them, away from him, but Damon being relentless chose to force the idea of him being in her life and followed her to college, Klaus had moved away with his siblings to New Orleans, what left of them anyway, Klaus offered him a chance to join them, in their conquests, but he knew that will only mean more fights and squabbles he no longer have the energy for, he chose to promise them to stop by once in a while instead, he didn't hear of them since, he was relieved, because that meant they live in peace, or that's what he hoped.

Caroline, wanted to stay with him out of loyalty, she kept stating that she doesn't need an education, and she didn't have to attend college with the rest of the gang, but he knew better, that keeping her around, was selfish of him, he loved her more than he let on, and he wasn't going to ruin a possible chance of a better life, a chance of peace, she maybe his best friend, and the only person that could cheer him up, but letting go of her maybe the best for her in the moment, he was left unaccompanied in Mystic falls, his life turned to a chore list, his nights usually ended up passed out drunk in Mystic Grill, or in someone's bed, he turned to a ladies man out of boredom, bedding every girl, that gave him a glance, but at the end, none of them managed to steal his attention more than one night, after a while, he decided he needed to change the scenery, Mystic falls grew suspicious of his behavior, the council grew tired of the shortage of the blood bags, he knew he had to move on but where?

He traveled for three years approximately, he wandered over Europe, living in small towns in short periods of times, never settling for long, because he hated forming friendships, that had to end one day, he went sightseeing in every country that had a monument, he wished that he had someone to share it with, but he knew there weren't any, of course he kept in touch with Caroline, he never returned any of her calls, but made sure she knew he was alive once in a while, he usually sent her post cards, she wanted to join him, and he almost took her on her offer, but he knew that as much as he missed her, he needed his time to heal, alone and secluded, as if it was a punishment of some sorts, he never heard of Damon nor Elena, but he knew that they must be living together, as he didn't hear of them not once back in Mystic falls, he had rare times when he wanted to call them, to check up on them, but that was too soon, and probably damaging, opening old wounds were not his favorite, so he settled for wishing them happiness as a substitute.

He ran into Rebekah one time, she haven't change, not entirely anyway, she remained mean and pushy as he always knew her, but her endearing traits didn't fade either, she's more down to earth, and compassionate, they shared many untamed nights, but they knew their separation was inevitable, she presented him the prospect of joining her, but he refused politely, he knew he had to move on, maybe a greater possibility awaited him somewhere, with someone perhaps, he never lost hope of reuniting with the gang, maybe if they stayed away long enough, they would have a chance to fix the broken and ignite the lost between them.

He stared at the navy blue sky one night, looking to mesmerizing stars, a yellowish full moon, in the broad square in Cyprus, he remembered the night where he and Damon stole their father's favorite horse, and went to the lake at night to see gypsies' performing their annual ritual by the fall, he remembered seeing this one young lady being dipped in the water fully nude, she looked accepting of her roots, and excited of her becoming ready to be wed with a good suitor, Damon made a remark of how ridiculous the ritual was, and how he was more than willing to steal her from her tribe, she was indeed breathtaking, he couldn't take his eyes away from her the whole night, ultimately they both felt asleep soon after she completed her tasks, it was their first little adventure, he caught himself smiling at the amount of scolding they had to endure from their father the morning after, he punished them, Damon harder for being the adult one, still, they found it worth it, it was one of the fun few memories he shared with Damon, he was very fond of their times together before their lives spiraled in havoc, he misses him, her too.

Calvin, was a young man he met in a local bar in a small town in Michigan, he had olive skin, bright brown eyes and handsome features, he was easy going, and fun to talk to, they formed a strong friendship, he called him Cal for endearment, they became strong of buds, Cal never questioned Stefan's sizable appetite for alcohol, or where he wore a strange ring, and why he seemed cold than usual, it was one of the qualities Stefan loved about him, beside his ability to gave a sarcastic comment on anything, it kind of reminded him of someone, Cal introduced him to his pack of friends, and he bonded with them in a short period of time, they grew closer, much to his chagrin, knowing that they will always grew distant, or become aware of his nature, he had to move on, he needed to move out of town, and possibly ruining his relationship with Cal, it was a hard decision that needed to be made, and he hadn't second thoughts about it.

Stefan felt his jaw aches from the power of the punch that caught him off guard, he knew he had it coming, she stared at him in disbelief, she wanted to throw a tantrum at him, he smiled coyly at her, knowing every word that he's about to utter better be calculated, he didn't want to give her more reasons that she already has, to kick his ass, he pulled her in a tight hug, nearly squeezing her in a tight embrace, he felt home hearing the moan that escaped her mouth when he caressed her back, she pulled back and glanced at him, touching his jaw line, where her fist landed, before he could ask her what was she doing there, she scolded him of being distant all of these years, as if she didn't matter enough, he took her hand and assured her, he was doing her a favor, she forgave him, he knew she couldn't resist his puppy dog eyes, he was happy that they finally met, maybe she was the one he needed the most, someone who has always accepted him of who he is, the remedy to his wounds, his favorite shoulder to lean on, Caroline was perfect for him, he knew he had to have her in his life no matter what, they spent their mornings reminiscing about their lives away from each others, and the evenings strolling in New York boulevards, hitting every bar in town, drinking their sorrows, and dancing their feet off in the overly crowded dance floors, they promised each other to never drift apart again, she had to leave at one point to complete her studies in event planning abroad, he didn't join her, because he was studying as well, but he promised to keep in touch more often, she did return after six month, permanently this time. She assured, and he was thrilled.

It had been 5 years since he saw either of them, but it looked as an eternity, he saw her first, wearing a skirt, and a blue blouse, her high heels making noise as she entered the coffee shop, her hair tied in a bun, holding a brief case, she must be a lawyer, or some corporate executive, seeing her expensive attire, she turned slightly pale as she saw him sitting, sipping his tea, and glancing at her questionably, she swallowed thickly, closing her eyes shut, and opening them again, she smiled widely, a smile she had only for him, and stepped closer to the table, he stood up, as she wrapped her arms around him, mumbling how much she had missed him, and how long it had been, they sat for hours in the booth, catching up on how well they've being doing, she stated that she's working as a 1st year associate in a big law firm in Boston, and she's only staying in New York for a few days working on a case, she still wears the Lapis Lazuli he once gave her, her grin never washed out talking to him, he asked her, about Damon, his whereabouts, she smiled shyly as if it was still uncomfortable to talk about Damon in front of him, she acknowledged that they were in and off many times, considering how much Damon had the ability to ruin things too many times, any how, they pledged that this time was going to be the final shot they gave each other, so they agreed to give more effort into it, and be more accepting of each others flaws, Damon still didn't get a job of his own, but promised to be willing to attend school in near future, their conversation ended hours later, and they agreed on meeting more often.

He met Damon the next day, on their dinner date, Damon shook his hand first before pulling him for a hug, Damon was still afraid of bad blood between them, but Stefan assured him that bygones be bygones, and the years apart healed every wound they had, of course Elena asked him of any romantic association, he laughed hard, he told her that he has someone in heart, and he's considering making the leap, and finally committing, she stated that this mystery woman had to be special, and she wish them all the happiness in the world, of course Damon guessed who she is all night long, and made his signature remarks about the ladies they shared over the course of their lives, still, he showed him mercy, not bringing up their persistent feud and rivalry over the Petrova doppelgangers, it was a nice fun dinner, and he hoped it wouldn't be their last.

They met again two years after, in a nice mansion outside of Napoli, celebrating the engagement of Stefan and Caroline, all of their friends and family attended, Damon gave a decent toast for once without looking an ass, Bonnie and Jeremy made it to the party, considering Bonnie's state, she's in her third trimester, and ready to pop out, as Matt likes to point out, Calvin attended also, wrapping a blonde woman's arm, he looked thrilled being invited to a wedding abroad, Klaus showed up early bearing gifts, as he made sure his favorite two people in the world, wouldn't feel the lack of over priced art from all over the world, he even gave Caroline a horse, reassuring her that his offer was still on, that he would be her last, of course, she gave him a hug, and smiled in disbelief of his arrogance, Rebekah actually showed up at an event, it was a milestone bearing in mind her track record of missing out things, she found another man, who resembled any man she ever dated, light color hair, green eyes, a geek of a sweet heart, who will eventually be scared off, by her abnormally antics, and her desire of being the center of the universe.

Stefan was cheerful and content in a long time; he had everything he longed for, his better half, his family, and his friends, every thing fell in place, danger never loomed over them, no new mysteries to solve, no new villains to battle, no agonizing loneliness in the dark, only a bright future of them to share, a soft smile formed on his lips, watching everyone dancing like there was no tomorrow. He decided to join them, letting go of the weight that was aching him all of those years, choosing to believe that this is his happy ending, this what he deserves, a care free world, people to share it with. His heart made an unusual rhythm for the first time. Then it clenched in his chest. That was odd.

Stefan drifted back to consciousness again, as he let water fill his lungs once more, he felt tears forming in his eyes sockets, even if he can't feel them anymore, he wanted to scream his heart out, but the more he tried, the more it hurt more, he knew he was dreaming, of something better, a happy place, he wanted to end his misery, the story changes every time he closes his eyes, places differs, but the people who he cares about, they are always there, never too far, always creating newer roles, he wished his death, knowing it will be a long time before anyone will bother to look for him, even the possibility of never finding him was never ruled out, he hated drowning all over again, to go to a place, he knew, he will come out of as soon as he heals, it was a nightmare, not a dream, he cursed his being, his dreaded nature, couldn't things be easier for him?

A question that never left his mind, in the course of the past months, he had to endure the torture, the hunger, the weakness, the despair.

_The End_.

**Author note:** this was a one-shot written in a short period, hours actually, so don't be mad at grammar or spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language, give me some slack would you, reviews and suggestions are welcomed, and I hope I learn to give characters more depth next times. XoXo.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, just the key board, and a broad imagination.


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